They are in India and you are stuck wherever you are. It’s tough, really tough. I was in a long distance relationship with my husband for about a year, only actually being with him for five weeks during that time. My husband has been away with work for nearly three weeks now and it’s brought back all of those long distance memories.
Here are my ten top tips for coping in this situation, after living in it myself:
1. Find a time that suits both time zones
She might be going to sleep at the same time as you wake up, or he is at work when you are putting your feet up in the evening. Depending on where you are, the time difference can make everything much more difficult. It is very important to find a time which suits you both, even if that does mean staying up for a little longer or waking up at the crack of dawn. Don’t just go with the flow and hope that you are able to catch each other, set a ‘date’.
2. Bring a little bit of India to you
One of the things that helped me cope with my long distance relationship was bringing some Indian traditions into my British life. This made me feel closer to my husband and actually gave me strength, especially wearing sindoor daily (even if it did cause a lot of curiosity). Celebrate Indian holidays, light those incense sticks you brought back from India and play the Hindi love songs he sent you.
3. Set a date
The excitement you feel as you see the days fall away makes any long distance relationship easier, the light at the end of the tunnel so to speak. Decide when you will see each other again, and try not to make it a one sided thing, visit each other if you can. This can be costly, and the next time you visit India might be quite far in distant the future but even if it won’t be for years, try to set a date. I had a countdown app on my phone, waking up everyday to see that number of days decrease was great.
4. Watch the same movies, read the same books
Strangely, even if you are not doing this at the same time, it makes you feel closer. ‘He will love this part’ or ‘she really laugh at that bit’. It’s an experience you guys can share and then talk about, even with miles between you. Plus, you will learn more about each other, especially if your relationship is new.
5. Skype is your best friend
Seeing your loved one on the screen is so exciting, actually experiencing their mannerisms and being able to pull faces at each other is wonderful. I think Skype is the best form of communication, also instant messenger apps (like whatsapp) are great for when you are on the move or at work.
6. Skype can be your worse enemy
Two reasons. India is notorious for its bad internet connection, sometimes it just doesn’t want to cooperate which can leave you in tears. The internet connection isn’t the only technical problem, those nasty power cuts. Argh, extremely frustrating.
The other downside to Skype is that it make you feel so close, yet you are so far. Sometimes I needed a break from Skype because it gets too emotional. To have to end that call and be in a cold room full of silence was really distressing, sometimes it was better for us to talk on messenger.
7. Live your life
I have received several emails from girls in online relationships with Indian guys and a surprising amount of these girls have been given ‘rules’. They cannot wear this, they cannot do that etc. etc. blah blah blah. Whilst you should respect your love, don’t let them remotely control your life. Only agree to the stuff that you feel comfortable with.
8. Send each other gifts, but not really expensive ones
It is so lovely to receive gifts, especially ones with a personal touch, it keeps the romance alive. A word of warning though, if you are planning on sending a parcel to India, don’t be surprised if some things go missing. Your love will receive at least part of your gift. You can buy via websites based in the country of your other half (during our separation, my husband sent me my birthday present via amazon.co.uk).
9. If you plan to move to India, spend time falling in love with your own country for a while
…and appreciate being with your family. You never know what you’ve got until it’s gone, even if you are the happiest you have ever been in India, you will have pangs of homesickness. Collect some memories to take with you, post cards, letters, photographs etc. and visit all of your favourite places. Not only will this be a comfort to you whilst you are in India, you will enjoy yourself and it’s a way to pass the time!
10. Remember, this is not forever
You will be with your sweetheart soon and the distance will close. Your long distance relationship can either make or break your relationship, and if you survive it, it will make your bond stronger.
Don’t give up, love can conquer all.
Do you have any long distance relationship tips?